#GuestPost Finding the Perfect Holiday Gift

xmas gift 2The holidays, as happy as they can be, tend to be a stressful time of year. After all, on top of the normal obligations of daily life, there’s bound to be a slew of festivities to attend or prepare for. Between trimming the tree, baking cookies for Santa, and attending ugly sweater parties, things can get a little hectic. Top it all off with needing to find that perfect gift for your special someone and you’re likely to throw in the towel and curl up by the fire with a glass of eggnog. But finding just the right present for your significant other doesn’t have to be taxing. Take a peek at these fun (and easy!) ideas and before you know it, you’ll have that perfect gift checked off your list.

Something you can do together

Though you and your partner probably see each other quite often, devoting hours each day to just the two of you is unrealistic and often unattainable in today’s world, especially during the busy holiday season. But as Real Simple Magazine points out, getting enough couple time builds intimacy, opens communication, and strengthens your bond, all important factors for fostering a successful relationship.

A gift that allows you and your significant other to enjoy an activity together is two-fold in its purpose: carving out time for just the two of you to reconnect while doing something you wouldn’t usually do. Never got around to taking those ballroom dance lessons you always talked about? Have you always wanted to learn how to make a gourmet meal that would put a world-renowned chef to shame? Sign you and your partner up for a class that provides an exciting experience and a new skill you can learn together.

Something to enhance your love life

They say variety is the spice of life, and that couldn’t be truer than when it comes to how you and your partner spend your time between the sheets. The holidays are about family and togetherness, which often means you and your significant other struggle to get a moment alone. Give him a gift that you’ll both have fun with when you finally escape to the privacy of your bedroom. A special piece of lingerie is a great way to make any night with your other half feel even more memorable. For a holiday twist on things, Adam & Eve suggests donning a sexy Santa Claus-inspired outfit, sure to get both you and your partner in the festive spirit. With so many options designed specifically with couples in minds, a gift that will enhance your love life is sure to make the rare time you and your significant other have alone during the holiday season that much more amazing.

Something you can enjoy separately of one another

As noted before, spending time with your significant other is important. However, with life moving a mile a minute, it’s essential that you both have time alone in order to relax, recharge, and bring the best version of yourself to the relationship. According to Psychology Today, there are many physical and psychological benefits to spending time alone, including enhancing the quality of your relationships with others.

You and your sweetie may have a ton of common interests, but chances are there’s at least one thing he loves to do that you merely tolerate, and vice versa. So why not take advantage of your differences and gift him something he would enjoy—without you? Maybe that means setting up an afternoon of paintball for him and his friends, or surprising him with an hour-long rental of the car of his dreams. He’ll appreciate how much thought you put into the planning and you’ll appreciate the free time his golf trip gives you to settle in to a much-needed Netflix marathon. It’s a win-win!

When the idea of finding the perfect gift for the perfect person in your life seems a little too overwhelming, use these ideas as jumping off points to holiday present bliss. Whatever you choose doesn’t have to be complicated or filled to the brim with all the bells and whistles. As long as it’s given with love, your significant other is sure to love it, too.

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Side Chick Consulting

Occasionally when looking at the stats on this site, I notice a spike in the site views.  Being curious, I go and check to see what my wonderful readers are searching for and what they love doesnt hurtare reading.

Imagine my surprise to find that on several occasions, readers have been searching variations of “side chick consulting” and “side chick consultant” to land at my site.  I have written about side chicks and I am a Consultant at a Consulting Company so I can see how Google would make the connection.  This is not the issue…

The burning questions in my mind are, “Why are people searching for a side chick consultant?” and “What do they expect to gain from side chick consulting?”

After speaking with a few friends, here are a few things they think side chick consulting prospects are seeking:

  1. Advice on how to handle the holidays when their boo thang is with his main thang
  2. How do I avoid having feelings for a man that I know will never be mine
  3. Strategies to make him leave his main chick
  4. Tips to prevent him from cheating once you become the main chick
  5. What should I do if I want to confront his other woman

I’m not sure the real reason people are actively searching for a Side Chick Consultant.  If you have some ideas, please share them because I am uber curious!

Is there a future in being a side chick?

Once again, I know the immediate answer is “no” but there has to be or there wouldn’t be so many of them.

Men and women have been unfaithful since the beginning of time but lately, I have wondered what is the benefit to being the chick on the side… I mean, how do you feel on holidays when you can’t be with your boo thang or when he has to rush home to go to bed with his wife? And if he isn’t doing those things, don’t you kinda wonder if he would be that disrespectful to you if you were the “main attraction” one day?

*closes eyes, covers ears*

When I was younger, I had relations with a married man.  It really was not all that it seems to be cracked up to be today.  I don’t know if I missed out on the benefit package but I *insert shocked face* consider myself a winner, a prize and knowing that MY man was going home to someone else, that her bills were paid and she was going to the holiday dinners and taking the family pics did not sit well with me… Needless to say, I was a salty side piece.

Even recently, I have had men who I know are in relationships approach me about being their side dish.  The first thing that comes to my mind is, “what is it about ME that makes YOU think I would settle for SECOND place?” Like seriously, I try to go all out in whatever I do and I can admit that I don’t always succeed but I don’t think I have ever attempted something thinking that I WANT to be second place.

Ok, enough of me… what is up with these chicks who WANT to be side chicks, who look for married or attached men?black and married with kids

Here’s the question I want to ask side chicks… Do you love yourself enough to trust and believe that you deserve ALL of the love that a man has to offer a woman? Can you unequivocally stand and say that you would wait a lifetime for a love to call your own or is the fear of not having anyone driving you into the arms of someone else’s man?

I don’t have the answers, but I have a lot of questions…

And, yes! We want to hear from the guys… What makes it ok to cheat on the woman who you supposedly love enough to commit to with a woman who you supposedly have no feelings for?  Isn’t it kinda arrogant to assume you deserve both and cowardly to not stand up and tell you main squeeze that you’re getting some juice on the side?

Should you commit to someone who doesn’t want a commitment?

I know that sounds crazy…

The obvious answer is, heck no!

But.. (there’s always a but when we are trying to justify doing the illogical)…

What if you are seeing someone who says they don’t want a commitment but you think they are perfect for you? Everything about them crosses off on your ideal mate list EXCEPT they don’t want to be in a relationship.

When you are together, you do the things couples do.  You don’t THINK they are seeing anyone else but of course being in an uncommitted committed relationship prevents you from actually asking.  You even speak couple language – we, us, ours…

I mean when you consider all of that you would be crazy not to try to lock this person down.  Why keep searching when you’ve found your person? Right???

WRONG!!

uncommited

One of the biggest mistakes people make in relationships is falling in love with potential.  It’s not always the potential of what a person could become professionally but the potential of a relationship.  I have seen it so many times… A person thinks if they keep doing all the right things then eventually the other person will change their mind and decide to settle down.

Now you know that I am a self-proclaimed relationship expert so don’t take my advice and go break up with your boo thang but I would encourage you to consider what I am about to say…

If you are with someone and they tell you that they don’t want to commit… Believe them!

If you want to stay with them and do all the things that a committed person does with a person who isn’t committed to you, do it without expecting them to change.

If your relationship clock is ticking and you think you need to settle down right now, go find you someone who wants to settle down now too.  I know that means leaving your comfortable good thang but if having a commitment is that important to you, why are you leaving your future in the hands of someone who obviously doesn’t want the same thing as you?

Why Me???

He seems too good to be true… Like the kind of guy that women don’t think exist any more and here we are…

Doing the things that couples do, saying the things that couples say…

I look online and see so many women longing for what I have right before me yet they don’t think he exists…

But here HE is!

Of course, I should be jumping for joy.  I should be elated that he’s here with me but…

The looming question that I want to ask is… “Why me??”

Not to sound neurotic or crazy or mildly (definitely not extremely) insane but you know how you just want to know how out of the millions of choices… How did he pick me out of all of those choices?

whyme

Every Super Woman Needs A Super Man

Although I’m not a Rick Ross fan (shocker), this song replays in my mind more often than I am actually comfortable admitting.  But after reading the lyrics – http://www.metrolyrics.com/here-i-am-lyrics-rick-ross.html – I realized that it’s not the song but the concept that every super woman needs a super man that has stuck with me.

As a self-proclaimed super woman – minister, author, mom, entrepreneur, community person – I definitely need a super man in my life.

super couple

Yeah, I can say it… An ordinary man just won’t do for me.  I want someone who will match my drive in business, someone who is intentional about investing time in his family, who wants to make a difference in his community AND who makes time for his relationship with God.  Sounds like a lot? It is… hence the need for a super man.

I have noticed that a lot of people, not just men OR women, are complacent in life.  And so many more are living their dreams through social media.  They post about these uptopic situations but off-line aren’t doing anything to achieve the dreams they constantly promote.

I can’t be the only one who has noticed this.

With social media being the consistent point of reference many of us have for getting to know a person, we often see people living these super lives online and then you meet for dinner and actually start discussing life, goals and all that other important stuff only to find out that its all a dream.  I’m not here to down the dreamers of the world but some people need the doers, the ones who aren’t afraid to leap from a tall building to start a business or to rush into traffic to get to their kids’ school on time.

So… what’s so great about super people being together?  Being super is hard work!  If you’re not with an overachiever, then you have someone in your ear saying, you don’t have to do all that, they’re meeting AGAIN, you’re doing too much when you really want to hear that everything is going to be ok, I’ve got the kids tonight, don’t pay any attention to the naysayers because you’ve got this.  Super people can come home, take off their capes, remove the masks and let the insecurities hang out without fear of losing their super status.

I love the Marvel superheros but it always makes me kinda sad toward the end when they break up with their love interest at the end of the movie.  These break ups happen because they know that super people and ordinary people can’t work.  Dang, isn’t that harsh??? But think about it… Wouldn’t it be hard to commit to someone who is at home vegging out on reality tv while you’re trying to save the world?

Anyway, that’s my two cents… What do you think? Can a super woman/man find happily ever after with a mere mortal?

 

Season 6 of The LaKesha Womack Show Premiers

live-microphoneI had a wonderful summer away from Blog Talk Radio but I must admit that I am ready to get back on air.  Season Six (can’t believe its been that long) premiers today, September 19 at 12pm CST.  I will be announcing our guest line up for the upcoming season, giving you some information about this season’s show format and updating you on what’s been going on with me in my personal (gasp), professional and spiritual life.

Don’t forget… You can listen to the live fifteen minute show or you can go back and listen to the playback at any time from your smart phone or computer -> http://blogtalkradio.com/LaKeshaWomack or call 646.929.2031

As you are anxiously awaiting to hear from our new slate of guests, take a listen to the top ten shows from the first five seasons!

~ Author Spotlight on Shivawn Mitchell, Rewrite Your Story

~ The Style Gent discusses The Lost Art of Dating

~ Five Common Sex Myths

~ Interracial Dating, Relationships and Marriage with Will Deyamport

~ Can Sex Ruin a Relationship?

~ Women Just Don’t Understand cohosted by Jay “EveryDayTheBrand”

~ Single Parents and Dating Discussion with Kalonji Gilchrist

~ Is it safe to mix business with pleasure?

~ Corey Ponder shares how giving is sexy (holiday special)

~ Dr. Laura Hill discusses Intergenerational Communication Strategies for the Workplace