Is there a future in being a side chick?

Once again, I know the immediate answer is “no” but there has to be or there wouldn’t be so many of them.

Men and women have been unfaithful since the beginning of time but lately, I have wondered what is the benefit to being the chick on the side… I mean, how do you feel on holidays when you can’t be with your boo thang or when he has to rush home to go to bed with his wife? And if he isn’t doing those things, don’t you kinda wonder if he would be that disrespectful to you if you were the “main attraction” one day?

*closes eyes, covers ears*

When I was younger, I had relations with a married man.  It really was not all that it seems to be cracked up to be today.  I don’t know if I missed out on the benefit package but I *insert shocked face* consider myself a winner, a prize and knowing that MY man was going home to someone else, that her bills were paid and she was going to the holiday dinners and taking the family pics did not sit well with me… Needless to say, I was a salty side piece.

Even recently, I have had men who I know are in relationships approach me about being their side dish.  The first thing that comes to my mind is, “what is it about ME that makes YOU think I would settle for SECOND place?” Like seriously, I try to go all out in whatever I do and I can admit that I don’t always succeed but I don’t think I have ever attempted something thinking that I WANT to be second place.

Ok, enough of me… what is up with these chicks who WANT to be side chicks, who look for married or attached men?black and married with kids

Here’s the question I want to ask side chicks… Do you love yourself enough to trust and believe that you deserve ALL of the love that a man has to offer a woman? Can you unequivocally stand and say that you would wait a lifetime for a love to call your own or is the fear of not having anyone driving you into the arms of someone else’s man?

I don’t have the answers, but I have a lot of questions…

And, yes! We want to hear from the guys… What makes it ok to cheat on the woman who you supposedly love enough to commit to with a woman who you supposedly have no feelings for?  Isn’t it kinda arrogant to assume you deserve both and cowardly to not stand up and tell you main squeeze that you’re getting some juice on the side?


God, send me a sign… #SummerLoveSeries #BeingMaryJane

I have to be honest… when I saw the trailers and advance promotion by a lot of my blogger friends about the upcoming series “Being Mary Jane” featuring Gabrielle Union; I wasn’t that excited…

However, I saw a clip of Miss Mary Jane in bed with her lover, leaning over him while he slept, whispering “God, send me a sign” (those may not have been her exact words but you get the picture)

Anyway, I knew I had to watch at least the first episode simply because I have found myself praying that same prayer way too many times.  Oddly, many situations were a lot like Mary Jane’s.  I knew in the depths of my heart that this guy I wanted so very badly to be mine was not… I knew it.  But like Mary Jane, I was waiting for God to confirm it.

I don’t know how God works in your life but for me and Miss Mary Jane… He has no problem giving you the sign that you seek.

If you didn’t watch then I can fill you in – the guy proceeds to throw up on Mary Jane while they’re laying in bed but she gets him all cleaned up then he looks at her and tells her that he loves her which fills her with glee until she’s cleaning up his stuff and steps on his wedding band…

Yeah, that felt pretty familiar too… Not that I have ever stepped on a wedding band but I have definitely found myself in some situations where the words coming from his mouth sounded like honey in my ear but I wasn’t paying attention to the signs that I had been asking God to send to me.  If I had, and I’m sure if Mary Jane had also, we both would have saved ourselves some heartache.  It seems like such a familiar story for women these days to get all excited about the potential of a man only to find out and that he isn’t who you thought he was.  So many times, we try to tell ourselves that we were played, used or whatever but the reality is that we didn’t pay attention to the signs.

I’m interested to see how the series plays out because the teasers lead us to believe that although Mary Jane kicked the lover out of her house AND told his wife about their affair… they continue to see each other…

Have you ever found yourself asking God for a sign about the person you are seeing?  Did you get a sign?  If so, what did you do next?