Why won’t you support me?

I’m sure you realize there are a million different directions that I could go with that title…

However, the issue we are discussing today is emotional support.

Why is it that the people you expect to have your back, to be your biggest cheerleader, to be ready to pop a bottle with you are often the ones who give the lackluster responses to your great news?

You think that because you are there to celebrate all of the successes in their life, big and small, that when your moment finally arrives, they will lead the charge to the celebration then… *crickets*

It reminds me of the Sex and the City episode where Carrie goes to the lady’s house for a baby shower (or party can’t remember but there was a baby involved) and someone steals her shoes.  The lady is pretty much like “sucks to be you and I hope it works out better for you” when Carrie starts to think about all of the times she was there for this acquaintance, celebrating the engagement, wedding, babies, etc.  Carrie really could not figure out how the lady could not be there for there…

How many of us have friends (and family members) who are like that?

i-got-your-back_design

What do you do?

  1. Learn to celebrate yourself.  Yeah, it gets lonely sometimes but when that big moment occurs, if there’s no one around; take yourself out for a special dinner or buy yourself something special.  Don’t gloss over your WIN just because you made it to the finish line by yourself.
  2. Check your circle for squares.  There are some people in your life who don’t want to see you succeed.  They really only hang around to take and have nothing to contribute to your life.  It’s hard climbing to the top carrying dead weight.
  3. Lower your expectations of others.  Ok, that’s a hard one but think about this.  Most people operate in their own self-interest meaning they do what is best and most convenient for them.  We often receive the residuals of that – sometimes positive and sometimes negative.  You may be able to celebrate other people’s accomplishments because that’s just who you are but unfortunately, not every one is like you. So before you go snapping on someone because they didn’t act like you wanted them to act or before you say well since you didn’t… I’m not going to… Remember that we need to accept people as they are, not how we want them to be.
  4. Don’t stop being you to spite them.  Don’t fill yourself with negative energy or start hating on them and change the essence of the great person that you have become.  Some people want to see you come down off your high because they are tired of looking up at you doing your thing while they’re still struggling.  Honestly, that’s not your problem.  Don’t throw your good news in people’s face but we have to surround ourselves with people who can be there to comfort during the low moments AND high-five during the good.

No matter what… I will lift those who are down and push others even higher… I am a source of positive energy for everyone around me!

I make it a habit to help celebrate the successes of other people, even people I don’t know very well, not because I expect them to do the same for me but because I know what it feels like not to have that support.

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