Feels like forever since I was over here sharing any thoughts but I think I had a case of writer’s block. In my mind, I wanted to write but there just weren’t any words.
This morning while drinking my coffee and thinking about different life situations, the saying, “time heals all wounds” came to mind. My immediate thought was, “not really.”
There are some wounds that time heals simply because they don’t run very deep and eventually you forget about them.
There are some wounds that can’t be healed by time because they run so deep until every time you touch them or the situation comes up, you are reminded of the hurt. Even though you may be able to forgive for the hurt, it just isn’t possible to forget.
Then there are those wounds that time can’t heal because we either nurse them and perpetuate the situation or we simply don’t want to be healed because we are comfortable with the hurt. I am sure some people will say that sounds crazy but the truth is sometimes our identities become attached to that thing or that situation that wounded us and to move past it would require that we find something else to attach ourselves to. You may not be in this situation but I’m sure you know someone who is. They have a problem or something happened to them and they are not willing to move past it. It is as if they have decided that they would rather live with the pain.
We also have those wounds that time simply does not have ability to heal. Those wounds that run so deep we can not find their beginning nor can we see their end.
There comes a time when you have to choose to become healed from your hurt. In many communities seeking professional help for depression or mental illness has a stigma attached to it therefore we have people who are battling issues and waiting for time to absorb them.
In my early twenties, I realized that it was time for me to heal. Fortunately, I had some amazing people in my life who were able to talk me through my issues and help me to find the source of the wound and essentially stop the bleeding. I didn’t even realize how deep my wounds were. I really thought that being unhappy and discontent with myself was a permanent disposition. I believed that having a mediocre life was ok. I can not honestly recount the number of letters I have written saying good-bye to my family because I felt like I was at the end of my life. I was trying to mask so much hurt from past wounds that I thought time would heal until my life didn’t even seem worth living.
It breaks my heart to think of all of the people who commit suicide because of similar feelings. I don’t think I would have ever intentionally ended my life but I do remember feeling like the black hole I was living in was so deep until it was just going to magically envelop me. From the outside looking in, I don’t think anyone thought anything was wrong with me. I seemed like a normal functioning person.
Here’s my point… there are some people in your life that are really struggling with their wounds. They may not look like it. They may not even act like it but the reality is that they are living in a black hole of sadness and despair. There may be a small window where they will come to you and want to talk, to open their wound a little to see if you have a bandage or some ointment to make it a little better. They don’t think you can heal them because they may not even believe healing is possible. They just want to feel a little better.
What will you do? Will you be too busy to listen? Will you tell them to get over it because everyone has problems?
My prayer is that you will simply listen and help them figure out what’s next. Their next may be seeking professional help and they may need you to help them take that next step. Their next may be confronting the source of their hurt. Whatever it is, listen to them and do whatever you can to help them.
I recently read a blog by a young lady and her friend had just committed suicide. She stated that she wished she had done more… It made me wonder how many times I had not done more to help someone who needed me to give them some ointment, to help them get some stitches or a professional bandage.
Let us not continue to believe that time heals all wounds and we see someone hurting, let’s try to help them…