If loving you is all that I have to do…

It feels like love is in the air…

love in the sand

For some reason, I can hear Mary J. Blige singing in my ear –

If loving you is all that I have to do

I don’t want to do anything else

Ohhhh Mary…

I remember those euphoric days where you fell in love with someone and all you wanted to do was spend time with them, talk to them, just be in their presence *sigh*

Here’s my problem and you can tell me what you think…

I want to be in love and spend all of the time necessary to get to know the person.  I actually want to fall head over heels in love with someone who comes in my life and sweeps me off my feet – not just sexually but someone who makes love to my mind with insightful conversation, someone who makes me laugh, someone who makes me light up when I see their name pop up on my caller id… Someone that is emotionally available to love me the way a woman wants to be loved in a relationship… Yeah, I want that fairy tale kinda love that climaxes with him getting down on one knee with a Tacori ring causing tears of joy to stream down my face.

What’s the problem, I’m sure you’re wondering…

The problem… I am not sure that I really believe that all of that is possible. It feels weird saying that out loud (or typing it) because it sounds like I’ve given up on love and honestly, sometimes I think I have.

It’s not that I don’t have any qualified prospects but I wonder if I really have the time for love.  I always say that you make time for what’s important to you and when I look at my calendar, I don’t see very much time for love penciled in.  I was talking to a guy friend about “why I’m still single” and he was very frank with me – “Kesha, I think you’re single by choice, I don’t hear you ever talk about going anywhere or doing anything to meet any guys.” O_o  He was right.

I find myself settling for convenient situations but not putting as much effort into having the dream relationship as I put into my Consulting business or even a similar effort that I put into writing a book.  Its like I work for everything that I want but when it comes to love, I think I imagine that it will just happen.  How insane! Expecting a different result, doing the same thing…

What do you think?

Have I given up on love?  Am I really too busy for love?  Or is my situation typical?  I mean I can’t be the only woman lusting for the fairy tale even though I know that loving him is NOT all that I have to do – I have a business, a kid, on several boards, traveling to speak, the list goes on and on…

That leads to the next question that we will explore…

Am I going to have to give up something to get what I want?  Is it possible for me to have it all?


6 thoughts on “If loving you is all that I have to do…

  1. Stephanie says:

    To be honest there is the type of love that comes from behind and knocks you for a loop. I know. Meeting my husband happened like that. It came when I wasn’t looking or wondering if I will ever find love. I was just a few months out of a marriage that ended years before, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be in another relationship. My husband swept me off my feet on our first phone call. It was 4 hours long, no awkward silences. I knew I was going to marry him at the time of the call. It was weird. Our first date was magical. 12 hours long, and all the talking you can imagine. We have been together over 5 years, not one argument in that long. I am still amazed. No raised voices, no conflicts. Love can be amazing and that’s the truth of the happy ever after fairy tale.


  2. I honestly think you see the benefits of your business, kid and other things you are invested right now but all of those things took time to produce benefits. I think a lot of times fear stops us from really pursuing to be OPEN to dating. Maybe you should look at why you put love on the back burner? Because real love brings fruit just like all of the other things you listed that you are busy doing!! 🙂


    • Ekkkk… When your best friend comments you know there’s some truth in the assessment… lol

      I do think there’s some fear in there because I can control my business (for the most part) and my kid (in theory) but there’s no way to control love and that’s very scary. The love I crave can’t be controlled so the question becomes how bad do I really want it… X_X


  3. frizzelle says:

    I think we have to allow love to happen and not resist it. Most of us (me included) unconsciously put up resistance to some of the things we really want out of fear. Like the fear of success and even the fear of really being happy. I think we have to identify and clear out the emotional blocks we allow ourselves to have and allow the love we desire to flow into our lives. You said you believe love is in the air, yes it is, it’s like oxygen love is everywhere all the time. We just have to choose to allow it in our lives and recognize that if we remove those blinders we will see it and experience it just the way we have imagined it.


    • You are right on so many levels and I even heard a little bit of some of our past conversations mixed in there. My #SummerLoveSeries will be my attempt at being totally transparent about my emotions… This should be interesting 🙂


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