What happens when you forgive but can’t forget?

Last Sunday my minister was preaching and she began to talk about forgiveness.  Don’t get me wrong, this wasn’t the first time that I had heard a minister preach about forgiveness and the power of letting go but for some reason I couldn’t get the thought out of my mind.  It may be because of some issues that I am dealing with in my personal life.  I don’t think I have a problem with forgiving people, it’s the forgetting that creates the issues for me…

It’s like when something happens and someone says that they are sorry and you forgive them but how can you forget?

I don’t think that I hold a grudge but I can admit that I have a hard time forgetting about things and the feelings that people create within me.  When something happens that impacts the relationship, I find it hard to get things back to the place that they once were.  I don’t harbor any ill will towards the person and don’t speak ill about them but I also can’t just pretend like nothing happened.

What do you do?  What happens when you forgive someone but you can’t forget about what happened?


4 thoughts on “What happens when you forgive but can’t forget?

  1. James 1:12 Girl says:

    God doesn’t ask us to forget the wrongs people do…He asks us to forgive them. Truly forgiving doesn’t mean you forget what happens, but it does mean you look at that person the way Christ would. He loves them, so He sees that. He doesn’t see their past, He sees their future in Him, if only someone would share.

    It’s not about forgiving and forgetting…it’s about forgiving and loving like Christ did for you.


  2. I have been having a real hard time in my relationship and it is all over forgiving but I cant forget.
    We have been together for 15 years and I know we can make it through this if I could 0nly forgive completely. Any help with this issue would be greatly appriciated.


    • Patti, I struggle with the same thing but at the end of the day, you have to ask yourself if you would rather live your life with this person or without them. Even on their worst day, would you rather have them around or would it not make a difference. If you know that this is someone that you don’t want to lose then at some point you will have to put whatever happened in the past and choose to focus on the future.


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