There are a lot of things in life that make me chuckle because I don’t take most of life’s nuances very seriously.
It’s funny to me when people find such enjoyment in pointing out other people’s flaws. They can look at you and tell you all of the things that you are doing wrong, all of the things that you can do better and all of the things that they would do if they were you. They seem to think they could do a better job living your life than you can.
All of that is great except…
- People who are so free to dispense this “advice” are usually making statements about the change that they want to see in their own lives. Yes, you may have the same issues that they have but most of the time, they aren’t working on their issue either. They may be doing a better job of hiding their issue but they can see your problems so clearly because they first recognized it in themselves.
- If you have issues, you need to be able to acknowledge them for yourself and not take on the issues that others diagnose you with. Sometimes people will try to convince you that something is wrong with you because they have selfish motivations for wanting you to change. We all have issues, we are all works in progress. You should not let someone else define who you are based on their perception. This isn’t to say that you should live life in denial. It’s actually the opposite. Each new day is an opportunity for self-improvement, to be a better person than you were yesterday. The changes that you make should be changes that you believe will make you better, not an attempt to please someone else.
- As messed up as you are (we are all messed up in our own way), you are perfect. Sometimes we spend so much time thinking about the things that are wrong, we forget to see the good in ourselves. Again don’t go through life denying that you have issues or refusing to work on those issues but realize that your life is a work in progress. While you are working through your issues, accept yourself. Tell yourself that you are ok. You are not perfect but you are working toward being better. Playing positive affirmations in your mind will help you to become a better person. When you think good thoughts, you are more likely to exude a positive attitude and do positive things. If you think the world is coming to an end and you are the worse person in the world, how do you think those thoughts will manifest into actions in your life?
I’ve been in relationships with guys that had no problem telling me all of the things they thought was wrong with me. They could go on and on about the “changes” they thought I should make. Once those changes were made, I would be “perfect” for them. Guess what? If you can’t accept me as I am, then I’m probably not the person for you. Yes, I want to change and be better but there is a chance that I won’t. There is a huge probability that despite all of the work I do on my issues, I may never become any better than I am today. If someone is waiting on you to become “better” then send them packing and tell them to find someone who is already what they are looking for. Not only do we have to learn to accept other people for who they are, we have to show ourselves that same kindness and accept ourselves for who we are, works in progress.
- Necessary Endings (psychologytoday.com)
- Dysfunctional Thinking Patterns (howtotrulylive.com)
- Give yourself a break!! (wingsofencouragement.wordpress.com)
- Guilt, Admittance, Change… (quecisuave.wordpress.com)
- Is Perception Reality? (lifematchesbook.wordpress.com)