How long does it take to fall out of love?

I’ve seen a couple of posts and heard a morning talk show discussing the seven-year itch now becoming the three-year glitch.

When I first read the headline on Yahoo.com, I didn’t pay it much attention but did kind of wonder what they were talking about.  One morning while watching an early show, the host was about to introduce a popular actor who has been married for three years.  Strangely, the host mentioned this topic along with his introduction of the actor.  I think the actor was a little embarrassed that they would infer his marriage was starting to lose its luster, especially after such a period.

One of my relationship fears is getting involved with someone who thinks it’s ok to fall out of love as easily as we fell for each other.  I know that relationships will  have their ups and downs but how do you survive those low points.  I enjoy meeting guys and fantasizing about a future with them but it honestly scares me to think about committing the rest of my life to them.  My fear is not grounded in my inability to commit but the strength of my desire to stick with it forever.  I often think I want something that lifetime commitments aren’t possible to attain in our society.  I want someone who I can let down my guard with and honestly stand before God and man to proclaim my love through sickness and health, for richer or for poorer, in good times and bad until death do we part.

Part of the issue is me. I start to get to know someone and know from the time that we spend together that I can’t make those proclamations.  Despite how great the person looks on paper, as in once you list all of their qualifications, I know that my heart isn’t there. The other part of the issue is fear.  Yes, I can admit that I am afraid of falling head over heels in love only to find that he doesn’t love me back.  I am afraid of mentally, emotionally and spiritually committing my life to a man and three years later I find out there is a glitch in our relationship or seven years later he has an itch that I can’t scratch.

I don’t know what the solution is or how I will  overcome this mental hang-up and make the ultimate committment but I think acknowledging the problem is the beginning to finding a solution.

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4 thoughts on “How long does it take to fall out of love?

  1. Trudy says:

    I don’t think there is a set “time” that people fall out of love, just as there isn’t a set time it takes to fall in love. Both seem really subjective but most people add their own time constraints to it.

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  2. If it’s the type of love which I call “real love”, I can safely say that it takes at least 50 years to fall out of love.

    (Of course, there are those “faux love” thingies which you can fall out of in as little as 50 minutes…but, they have nothing to do with the love which gets down to your soul…)

    I wish you POWERFUL, LONG-LASTING LOVE, LaKesha!
    +Vincent

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  3. Whew girl, this is good! There is so much I could say to this especially on the “fear” aspect of getting into a relationship, because I was there and honestly sometimes it (fear) tries to rear it’s ugly head every once in a while, in my marriage. However, what I wanted to comment on is the “falling in & out” of love aspect. I think society puts such an emphasis on love as being a feeling/emotion. I believe that love in and of itself is an action and something that we choose to do and be.

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  4. Toni says:

    THIS IS SUCH A ”TRUE’ STATEMENT MADE LETTING YOUR EVERY THING GO FOR SOME ONE AND THEN BAMMM!!! THEY LET YOU DOWN ,MISLEAD YOU, YOU TRUSTED THEM, FELL TO YOUR KNEES TO GOD IN REGARDS TO THEM,AND THEY ARE THE PERSON THAT KEEP YOU STRONG,AND MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR WORTH AND MORE WORTH, AND IT BECOMES A SEPARATION BETWEEN THE TWO, THAT’S TIME TO HEAL, PLUS TO HEAR GOD TO KNOW IF THIS WHO HE DESIRE FOR YOU, YOU WILL KNOW, IT WILL BE REVEALED… TRUST ME, AND THERE’S NO ONE IN THE WORLD THAT’S WORTH LOVING IF IT’S NOT GOD SENT YOU MAY IN A RELATIONSHIP W/SOMEONE AND YOU COME IN PATH OF THE PERSON THATS YOUR TRUE SOUL MATE, BECAUSE OIF RUSHING,AND TAKING THE FIRST THING SMOKING AND MISS OUT ON YOUR TRUE SKY BLUE! SO RELATIONSHIP’S ARE A TOUGH MEAT TO CHEW BUT IF HEAVEN SENT HUMM.. THATS A WHOLE DIFFERENT STROY TO DISCUSS. GOD BLESS YOU MS.KW:) MzTONI;-D.

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