I am 47 years old. I am divorced. I am the mother of three teenaged children. I was in an abusive relationship for 12 years and finally got the courage to leave my husband. Our divorce has been finalized for almost two years but some days I wonder if I made the right decision. Not that I liked the abuse but the dating scene is so much different now than it was when I was younger. I met a great guy but I don’t love him. He wants to get married and I don’t know what to do. He makes sure that my kids and I want for nothing but I don’t feel emotionally connected him. I appreciate everything that he does for us but I feel guilty because I think I’m taking advantage of him. On the other hand, this dating thing is more depressing. I don’t have the energy to sift through all of the men out there playing games. My kids will be leaving home soon and I don’t want to be left alone. Should I settle and marry this guy even though I know he’s not the “love of my life” or should I hold out?
I was almost hesitant to tackle this one but decided to give it a shot. In relationships it is almost impossible to get everything on our checklist. No one but you can determine what you can or can’t deal with. In this situation, you should consider taking it slow and focus on getting to know the guy better. It doesn’t seem like you all have been dating very long and you are probably still processing a wealth of emotions from your previous relationship. Don’t rush into another situation and if he really loves you and has your best interest at heart, he will understand. If you feel like you might taking advantage of him by accepting gifts/items; maybe you could ask him to hold back a little. One the common problems in relationships is a lack of communication. You seem to have a lot of internal conflict and if you are considering making this man your life partner, you need to be able to talk to him honestly about the situation and how you feel. Just as you deserve to find the “love of your life”; he deserves the same.