When a woman’s fed up…

This song has been stuck in my head for weeks.  I don’t know why but whenever something happens that makes me unhappy, the words begin to replay in my subconscious…

Cuz when a woman’s fed up
It ain’t nothing you can do about it
It’s like running out of love
And then it’s too late to talk about it
**By R. Kelly

There is something amazing about a woman’s ability to love unconditionally.  It’s like we have this desire to just give our heart to someone but when a woman gets fed up… there’s nothing you can do about it.  It usually takes a lot to get us to the edge but once we go there… it’s too late to talk about it.  There are no more words.

How do you avoid frustration in a relationship?

  1. Listen.  This goes both ways. Both parties have to be willing to listen to the other part.  Sometimes our frustrations are a result of assumptions rather than facts.  Other times it can be a result of not feeling like we are being heard.
  2. Talk about it.  Once you feel yourself getting frustrated, you have to be willing to talk about what is really bothering you.  A lot of times we talk around the issue and displace our unhappiness onto other less serious issues.  You have to willing to open up and be honest about your feelings.  If you find that you are in a situation with a person who is unwilling or unable to hear you, take some time to evaluate whether this is a healthy situation for you.
  3. Close your vent.  Most women love to talk.  However, sometimes in the midst of our venting, we begin to receive advice from others about what they would do in a similar situation.  Not all advice is good advice and not everyone has your best interest at heart.  Not to mention, if you choose to make up with the person, the person that you vented to may hold on to the negative information and have a harder time getting over the situation than you.
  4. Meditate.  Yep, spend some time with yourself before you take the situation to someone else – your mate or a friend/family member.  I often times find myself taking a gut check.  Is the situation that serious?  Am I overreacting? Is the issue symptomatic of a bigger problem?  Sometimes we go off of our first thought or that gut emotion but taking some time to process your feelings will help you to communicate more clearly and to have a better understanding of what you’re feeling, why you’re feeling it and what you need to be able to move past it.

This advice isn’t just for intimate situations but also for relationships with friends, family members and co-workers.  You can’t go through life writing off everyone that you feel has done you wrong, sometimes you have to put in the effort to repair the situation.  However, there are times when you need to have the wisdom to know if it is best to just walk away because when a woman is fed up… there’s nothing you can do about it.

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10 thoughts on “When a woman’s fed up…

  1. Trudy says:

    Despite the fact that I loathe R. Kelly (LOL) great post. I don’t think the “vent” should be totally closed. Strong close friendships (not random people on Twitter etc.) and possibly a therapist should be consulted if someone needs to talk. Can’t bury it all in, but shouldn’t let it ALL out either, especially to those who do not have your best interests at heart.

    I ESPECIALLY like item 4, but that is probably not a shocker. LOL.

    Great post, thanks for sharing.

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  2. I always knew the point when a woman was fed up but rarely addressed. I kind of just let the relationship go through the motions until it withered to nothing. When you think it is at that point it is good to think about where it went wrong and then communicate it calmly to your mate.

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  3. Kendell says:

    You are exactly right, communication in any relationship is key! I just heard from my ex that nothing was said about a certain situation cause she thought is was going to get better. And when we broke up, all that finally came out how frustrated she was about it. Least to say, the relationship ended.

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  4. Hopefully being fed up can lead to a breakthrough in the relationship. Both parties, the offended and the offender can have an open dialogue as to what happened, when it happened and how the healing can begin. Both parties can discuss what they can to do to nurture each others needs. This means the walls will have to be broken down brick by brick and thus would take time. It goes without saying that good communication would be essential. More importantly, its going to require both of them to listen to what the other person is saying and develop empathy, which is putting oneself in the others shoes.

    If the discussion ends in a breakdown or breakup it should end hopefully in a way that causes the least collateral damage to both parties so that when they move on they wont take that hurt and anger to the next relationship as illustrated in Vikter Duplaix’s song “Fade It”:

    “I don’t know what he did but I wish you would fade it, forget and erase it, I need you to fade it, so we can move on.” http://bit.ly/fzh13L

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    • The health of a relationship is not measured during good times rather how a couple can deal with problems. Will they bring them together or tear them apart? Will they communicate with one another or seek solace in outside resources? If you can’t communicate effectively with one another then it may be best to move along because it will be hard to operate as a productive unit.

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  5. Don says:

    I know all too well of the fact that when a woman is fed up … Well, I’m sure have a good idea of what transpires.

    Agreed – it’s not in the best interest of anyone to travel through Life walking away from failed relationships/friendships, but I must add that if it helps one sleep well at night …

    Good read.

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