After my Blog Talk Radio show last week, “The Lost Art of Dating” with The Style Gent and my blog co-post with Will Deyamport, “Who Should Pay?”; I started thinking that maybe dating isn’t a lost art. People are still dating but it seems that they are doing it for the wrong reasons and in the wrong manner. Based off the previously mentioned show, blog and comments, I would like to provide the following dating tips and ideas.
- Get to the know the person before you ask them out on a date. Have a few phone conversations to build some rapport with the person and determine if they are someone who you want to commit time to hanging out with. There are some people that may be attractive physically but after a few conversations, you realize there is no chemistry. This can easily be determined over the phone.
- Limit or eliminate your alcohol consumption during the initial dates. Not only does this increase the amount of your bill but it can also cloud your judgement. You want to have a clear head so that you can rationally decide if this is someone you want to spend more time with.
- Date with purpose. Don’t use dating as a pass time or recreational activity unless both parties agree that you are just hanging out for fun. Be selective about the people that you choose to spend one on one time with and you won’t find yourself complaining about time or money.
- Focus on the interaction instead of distractions. It is tempting to go somewhere where there is lots to do but your initial dates should be opportunities for the two of your to determine whether the chemistry you felt over the phone translates in person.
- Abstain from sexual activities until you are ready for a relationship. Just because you go out on a few dates with a person, you should not assume that you are in a relationship. If a person cannot verbally commit to a relationship with you, you should not be having sex. I’m sure a lot of you won’t agree with this but once you start having sex, it’s hard to stop, even when you realize the “situation” isn’t going anywhere. Why not avoid hurt feelings and misunderstandings and just wait?
- Try group dates. Take some of the pressure off of feeling like you are being interviewed and hang out in a group setting.
- Go out for lunch to avoid the temptation of alcohol consumption and the possibility of late night temptations
- Look for inexpensive places to hang out and talk (the park, local museum, the zoo, coffee shop, etc)
- Consider activity dates like racquetball, bowling, laser tag, etc to explore common interests
Yeah, I once considered dating to be a lost art but I think we really just need to explore some alternative ideas and put more focus on getting to know one another. Please share your dating tips and ideas.