Dating Tips & Ideas

After my Blog Talk Radio show last week, “The Lost Art of Dating” with The Style Gent and my blog co-post with Will Deyamport, “Who Should Pay?”; I started thinking that maybe dating isn’t a lost art.  People are still dating but it seems that they are doing it for the wrong reasons and in the wrong manner.  Based off the previously mentioned show, blog and comments, I would like to provide the following dating tips and ideas.

The First Couple

Tips

  1. Get to the know the person before you ask them out on a date.  Have a few phone conversations to build some rapport with the person and determine if they are someone who you want to commit time to hanging out with.  There are some people that may be attractive physically but after a few conversations, you realize there is no chemistry.  This can easily be determined over the phone.
  2. Limit or eliminate your alcohol consumption during the initial dates.  Not only does this increase the amount of your bill but it can also cloud your judgement.  You want to have a clear head so that you can rationally decide if this is someone you want to spend more time with.
  3. Date with purpose.  Don’t use dating as a pass time or recreational activity unless both parties agree that you are just hanging out for fun.  Be selective about the people that you choose to spend one on one time with and you won’t find yourself complaining about time or money.
  4. Focus on the interaction instead of distractions.  It is tempting to go somewhere where there is lots to do but your initial dates should be opportunities for the two of your to determine whether the chemistry you felt over the phone translates in person.
  5. Abstain from sexual activities until you are ready for a relationship.  Just because you go out on a few dates with a person, you should not assume that you are in a relationship.  If a person cannot verbally commit to a relationship with you, you should not be having sex.  I’m sure a lot of you won’t agree with this but once you start having sex, it’s hard to stop, even when you realize the “situation” isn’t going anywhere.  Why not avoid hurt feelings and misunderstandings and just wait?

Ideas

  • Try group dates.  Take some of the pressure off of feeling like you are being interviewed and hang out in a group setting.
  • Go out for lunch to avoid the temptation of alcohol consumption and the possibility of late night temptations
  • Look for inexpensive places to hang out and talk (the park, local museum,  the zoo, coffee shop, etc)
  • Consider activity dates like racquetball, bowling, laser tag, etc to explore common interests

Yeah, I once considered dating to be a lost art but I think we really just need to explore some alternative ideas and put more focus on getting to know one another.  Please share your dating tips and ideas.

 

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4 thoughts on “Dating Tips & Ideas

  1. Dating can be a very exciting and enriching experience. If we keep our mind & eyes open and our emotions in check, we can enjoy the process while working toward getting to know the person who could possibly be the “ONE.” Remember, purpose, communication and integrity are the best tools in developing good healthy relationships.

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  2. I agree with you on everything you stated, except the sex part. If adults knowing and without any expectations want to just enjoy the physicality of one another, I say go for it. But, I must stress that doing so isn’t the smart thing to do if a long-term relationship is on your mind.

    I also want to add that people just need to relax, hang out, and see where the experience goes. Go out just to have a good time. If something romantic, meaning relational, happens, then great, but if the two of you have a blast and realize that neither of you are good mate for one another, at least you can say that you’ve met a good friend.

    Dating is about getting to know someone. It isn’t about finding a partner. Sure, if it happens, cool. But, no one should go out with someone with the expectation of finding a husband or a wife.

    Get out there. You never know what’s going to happen.

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  3. I’d say…WHY MAKE THINGS COMPLICATED?

    Go back to a time when dating was more natural. Boy meets girl. Boy likes girl. Girl likes boy. They hang out and do SIMPLE things. The first kiss happens. A relationship begins. It’s not contrived.

    As another commenter mentioned…just relax, hang out, and see where the experience takes you!

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