I’ m not the type of person that likes to share my problems with others. It may seem strange considering I have such an open network. When I start to go through something, I have a tendency to shut down and retreat.
At one point, I thought my silence was golden. I thought that people would appreciate me keeping my problems to myself. Recently, I have learned through friends and others around me that sometimes my silence is more painful than me shouting my problems from the rooftops. There are some people who actually care to know how I am doing and what is wrong with me.
Old habits are hard to break. Sometimes I want to open up but after years of being self-sufficient, not having anyone to rely on and surviving quite well; I can’t just change and become the person that others want me to be. When faced with fight or flight… I soar like an eagle.
If you feel as though you have been hurt by my silence and/or distance then I sincerely apologize. I love to give advice and help others to not make the same mistakes that I’ve made in life but please remember… I am on a journey also. I hit bumps in the road, get sidetracked and often crash and burn. Parts of my voyage are more like public transportation than a private car service but the fact remains, I have lived in this mode of transportation for many, many moons.
Enjoy the ride and don’t take my setbacks too personally.