7 ways to know if it’s love

How many times have you thought that you were in love only to realize that it was lust or the person was sent into your life for just a season? How many times have you stayed in a relationship longer than you should have because you could not figure out if it love or not.  How many times have you wished you had the answers in the beginning to save yourself and the other person some heart ache and pain?

Today is your lucky day!

Check out these 7 ways to know if it’s love… if not, it is something else and I will let you figure what the something else is…

  1. Love is a choice. If you think that you are on an emotional rollercoaster and can’t control your feelings then you are probably correct.  Love is not this uncontrollable thing that makes us crazy.  When you love someone, you have to remind yourself, sometimes daily, that this is the person that you choose to be with.  No one is perfect so they will make you mad, make you feel like breaking down but if it is really love, you would rather be with them than without them. The temptation to escape your situation, even temporarily, will come at every turn and if you feel as though you have no control then you will act as if you have no control.
  2. Love requires time. Always remember quality over quantity.  Sometimes people get confused and think that you have to spend every free moment with another person, however, you want to be sure that you are giving the best of yourself to that person instead of the most.  You need to be present, living in the moment.  Leave all of the could’ve, should’ve and would’ves at the door.  Focus on what you have and where you are in the moment.
  3. Love is a priority. You make time for what’s important to you.  Just as you should choose to spend time with the person you love, that person should be priority and not an afterthought.  When you are thinking of what to do with your day or your life, that person should be a part of the plan.  This does not mean that you must center your life around them but they should be a blip on your radar, a star on the map.
  4. Love appreciates. When you really love someone you don’t try to change them.  You love them “because of” and not “in spite of” them.  You don’t look at their flaws and think of ways to change them rather you realize that their assets and flaws combined compose the person that you love.  I once dated a guy that would tell me all of the things that he thought was wrong with me.  At one point, I realized that he didn’t love me.  He thought because I was so flawed, no one else would love me so I should stick with him. *Note: we are no longer together.
  5. Love makes you vulnerable. (Oh boy! This is the one that I have trouble with.) When you love someone, you let down your guard and let them in.  You make yourself emotionally available to share with the other person.  Yes, you talk about feelings, your past, your present and your future.  Most important, you are honest.  Effective communication requires trust because once you let your guard down and begin sharing, you are trusting this person to take care of the information you are sharing and to accept you as you are.
  6. Love comes with sacrifice. As if 1-5 were not sacrifice enough, love is about compromise.  It is about realizing that you will not always be right nor will the other person always be right but you will meet each other in the middle.  Sometimes you will want to eat one thing or go one place while your mate will want something different.  You know it’s love when you willingly give in to make the person happy and they do the same for you.
  7. Love requires commitment. When you love someone, you don’t want anyone else.  Even though they may not be able to give you everything that you want; you appreciate them, you share with them and you make them a priority in your life.  Love is not something that you do every once in a while or when you are in the mood but it is something that you choose to do everyday and at all times.

When you love someone you give it your all.  You leave nothing on the table.  You don’t hold back.  There is no Plan B.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7


5 thoughts on “7 ways to know if it’s love

  1. I agree with everything, except sometimes I think love does make you feel out of control. At least for me, if I’m completely in control of my feelings, I’m not completely in love. Good post!


      • Timothy Ellington says:

        What a great post. It is so refreshing to see that someone understands what love is. I must add that it is important for someone to also have the one who created love in their lives, it will make it even more easier to love unconditional.


  2. This is my favorite post from you, Lakesha! Because I think it’s so important to understand that love isn’t an easy thing to do. But the 1st thing is that it is a choice. It’s not an emotion or a feeling. B/c, God chose to give his only begotten son and that’s a huge sacrifice for people who are never going to be worthy of his love. He didn’t have to. But he chose to do it anyway.

    So it bothers me when people jump in and out of relationships, that just months prior they said they loved the person, and suddenly moves on to someone else. My answer to them when they tell me they just fell out of love with that person is that, really they never loved them to began with. Most don’t really want to admit that.

    And I love what Mr. Ellington had to say, to really be able to love is to have a relationship with the giver of love, which is God. It wasn’t until I gained a strong relationship with him, that I fully understood what it meant to love.


  3. Dana says:

    I agree with all seven steps and what really helped me also is the moment that I decided to give God my heart and trust him with it.


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