Is your relationship ready to go public?

So… I have a relationship “issue”.  No surprise if you have read any of my past relationship posts (lol).

However, I often wonder if my “issues” are creating problems that will prevent me from having a successful relationship.  As I have been discussing my book, “Is She The ONE?” the question that is most asked to me is, “Are you the ONE?”  Naturally, I believe that I am the ONE but the ONE for who is the question.

I believe that we are all the ONE for someone but the key is finding our ONE.  So, back to my issue.  I don’t like public relationships.  I have never been the friend to always bring my boyfriends around my friends or to constantly update my status when I am in and out of relationships.  In fact, when I am dating someone, I have no problem requesting that the relationship stay between the two of us.

I did not believe this was a problem until one guy requested that we take a picture together.  My immediate reaction was, “NO!”  I instantly had visions of our picture together on Facebook then everyone asking questions about the love in my life, we breaking up and me having to explain what went wrong.  Yeah, it was easier to just stay away from picture taking.  However, this caused a riff in our relationship.  I was surprised.  I didn’t think it was a big deal but apparently, it was.  He seemed to think that I was ashamed of him and that was why I didn’t want to be photographed with him.  Luckily, he was man enough to have the discussion with me and express his feelings but I began to wonder how many of my issues with public relationships had caused previous boyfriends to assume that I just wasn’t that into them.

When is the right time to take your relationship public? When do you begin to change your Facebook status from “single” to “in a relationship”? When do you start posting pictures of the two of you online and giving each other special shout outs?  When do you introduce them to your friends and begin using the term boyfriend or girlfriend?


6 thoughts on “Is your relationship ready to go public?

  1. While I’m not into PDA and telling everybody every little detail of my relationship, I do want it to be acknowledged in public.

    My ex from college was like you- did not want to put he was in a relationship with me on FB or take a whole lot of pics together. But my thing was everybody on campus already knew we were together so I didn’t see the big deal. And he wouldn’t hesitate to take pics with other people so it was an issue for me. It seemed like he was trying to keep me a secret for some reason. Apparently, something was wrong with me (not really, lol) because I saw all kinds of pics of him and his next gf on FB…ah, well…Lol

    Interesting post and viewpoint though…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Trudy says:

    The relationship needs to be public. Not what occurs in it, but its existence. I find that secret relationships are actually more stressful than public ones. The problem I think goes back to self-esteem. Women are worried that if people know, that will lead to relationship infiltration and disrespect via social media. These are reasonable worries. However, it all goes back to that simple dating book, He’s Just Not That Into You. A guy into a woman will not have a problem with a public relationship and will not be easily swayed by other women who happen to be on the internet. I feel that a woman into a guy will not have this problem either.

    Now, do they have to engage each other all day online, post over eachother’s pages and retweet every single word? NO. However, I refuse to be in a relationship with someone I cannot trust enough to make it public and know that whether 1 person knows or the world knows, our connection is infallible unless we decide it should be broken.

    Been there, done that got the tee as far as trying to keep a relationship a secret. For me, it is not of interest anymore. By month 3-6, the relationship should be public, fully. Just my 2 cents. LOL. Great post.


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