Do you want a boyfriend or a booty call?

It’s funny to  me how people sometimes confuse sex and relationships.  This is true for men and women.  Women tend to gravitate more toward wanting a relationship while men act as if they only want a booty call (you know those hit it and quit it types).

I had a friend that was really digging this guy, however he wasn’t quite feeling her the same way.  She got caught up in trying to make him want her, not sexually because that was done, but she wanted him to want her to be his girlfriend.  Sounds normal, right?  Well, the only problem is that she didn’t really want him to be her boyfriend.  She was just in it for the thrill of the chase.  It never worked because she wasn’t interested enough to follow through but it made me wonder… how many woman are in relationships that they wish were just booty calls?

On the flip side, I have a guy friend who really likes this female.  I think he could see himself marrying her, however he doesn’t want to put in the work to make her his girlfriend.  Easy enough… but it drives him crazy to think of her with someone else.  He expects the little bit of time and sex that he gives her to be enough to keep her on the hook.  I hate to tell him but it isn’t and it is almost a guarantee that she is getting her emotional fulfillment elsewhere.  Sadly, his game isn’t as tight as he would like to believe because she has snowed into thinking that he is the only one.  Makes you wonder how many other dudes are secretly wishing for a relationship but settling for a booty call?

How do you know if you want a relationship instead of booty call?

  • You enjoy having conversations with the person and look forward to your next opportunity to talk to them
  • You want to go out in public (on dates) with the person
  • You feel comfortable introducing them to people in your life
  • When you are in public, you have the urge to hold their hand or show some sign of PDA (public display of affection)
  • You have non-sexual thoughts about them at sporadic points during the day
  • You look forward to their calls and/or text messages during the day
  • When  planning an activity, they are the first person to come to mind

I hate to be the one to point out the obvious but if you have the opposite feelings for the person, you probably just want a booty call.

  • You don’t really enjoy talking to them and avoid conversations at all costs
  • You make sure to call them late enough that going out is not an option
  • You have absolutely no intentions of letting anyone know that you are involved with this person
  • If you go out in public, you make sure to keep your distance so that no one thinks you are together
  • You rarely think of them during the day, except to wonder if you will see them later that night
  • You avoid their phone calls and text messages until you are ready to schedule some “quality” time
  • They are the last person to come to mind when planning an activity
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6 thoughts on “Do you want a boyfriend or a booty call?

  1. Have you been reading my blog? I have been going through the motions with an issue like this. I was fine with my lil friend until he kinda started treating me like a girlfriend and making me second guess everything I was doing when I wasn’t with him. We aren’t in a relationship but I felt like I was cheating on him. Now he is the only one that I am sleeping with but part of me felt like I was betraying him for thinking about being with someone else. Right now we are on a “break”(love that episode of Friends), but I am sick of all men. We’ll see how things go.

    Peace, Love and Chocolate
    Tiffany

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    • Great minds think alike. Your situation sounds interesting. Was it that he felt like he “owned” you when you his girlfriend? It’s amazing how people can feel like they possess the other person just because you are in a relationship. I think my next relationship blog will ask “How much of yourself do you get to keep in a relationship?”

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  2. Roderick Frizzelle says:

    ~ Makes you wonder how many other dudes are secretly wishing for a relationship but settling for a booty call? ~

    Wow.. Something to think about!!!

    Like

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