Facing your own mortality is perhaps one of the hardest thoughts to overcome, especially at a relatively young age. As people get older, it is sometimes easier to accept that they have lived a long life and that it is time to pass on to the next realm. Last week, a guy who is only a few years older than I am suffered from a brain aneurism and then a stroke. I was mortified. It seems that most of us live our lives as if we will live forever but what happens if you die today?
If I die today, I pray that my good works will have impressed God and earned me a place in heaven. Many times we work in hopes of getting personal accolades but I am faithful to my visions and talents because they are each a gift from God. My goal is not the acceptance from man but to one day hear Him say, “Well done, my child.”
If I die today, I pray that my son knows how much his mother loves him and that he is the embodiment of all the good within me. Sometimes when he is sleeping I rub his cheek or whisper sweet nothings in his ear because I have no idea how long I will have to shape the man he will one day become. Although I fear not seeing that handsome, adult man manifest, I feel confident in the person that he is today is on track to become someone special.
If I die today, I pray that my family knows that despite our physical or emotional distance, they are always close to my heart. I don’t always call or visit as I should but my actions are not results of ill intentions rather issues that God and I are working out. I realized long ago that I can’t be everything to everyone but the love that I have for my family fills my heart and I know that there is a legion of people out there that love me just as much.
If I die today, I pray that my friends know how much their stories and our shared memories contributed to the person I have become. Many of them have become closer to me than the blood bond that I share with relatives while others have come and gone for a season. Despite the length or depth of our relationship, I have tried to learn something from each person that I have encountered and pray that I have provided the same.
If I die today, I pray that I find eternal peace much like the peace I have in my physical life. I have not bound myself to material things rather worked to create a life filled with meaning.