Why I’m not married… yet

It seems that most people have a reason why they should get or be married but I have put quite a bit of thought into why I’m not married… yet.  I’m going to share my top ten reasons, in no particular order.  Feel free to comment (including close friends and ex-boyfriends but I retain comment deleting rights – lol).

Tacori Engagement Ring

  1. I believe you should date before you decide to get married.  I don’t know what’s up with guys that think if you go out with them one time then you should be ready for a committment.  I used to think only women suffered from this delusion but I’m finding more and more men who are pretty quick to jump to the next level or at least want you to be committed to them while they… (The lost art of dating)
  2. I believe a man should want to take care of me.  This isn’t just financial support but he should want me to have it all – personal, professional and spiritual development.  A happy wife means a happy home. (So… YOU want to take care of ME?)
  3. I still want a tattoo but haven’t gotten one because of a fear of committment.  I think that says it all.
  4. I am waiting to be swept off my feet.  You shouldn’t have to ask me how I feel about you or what I think about our relationship.  If you are doing what you are supposed to do to woo me, then the feelings will come and believe me, you will know it.
  5. I can’t decide if Iwant someone who is as busy as I am or not.  This is weird because if he is as busy as I am then we may never see each other but if he isn’t I worry that he won’t understand the time committment that my life’s obligations require.
  6. I hate to argue.  I have that ‘fight or flight’ thing down to a science.  I will walk away before I will engage in a knock down drag-out argument.  I have been in too many situations where one person has said something that they later lived to regret and could not take back.  I don’t want to ever get to that point with someone.  If we can’t talk like adults, then we can’t talk at all. (Who won the argument?)
  7. Although I am willing to let a man be a man, there are some things that you need to show me before I turn my life over to you.  This may be surprising to some but I hope to be in a marriage where I can be the submissive wife.  I spend all day negotiating and being an aggressive business woman.  When I come home, I want to be a wife and a mother.  I want to cook dinner, bake cakes and pamper the people in my life.  I don’t want to worry about the yard being cut, my car needing tires or the pipe bursting in the basement. If I have to still do all of that, I might as well be the man and the woman in the relationship and doesn’t leave room for anyone else. So… if I date you and your stuff is falling apart, how can I trust you to take care of OUR stuff? (Let a man be a man)
  8. I have come to realization that as much as I want to be married, it is not a necessity.  I think I will wait to expound on that one… (Women, we were set up)
  9. I’m looking for a triple threat.  You know the guy that can get dressed up in a suit, tie a nice, thick, Windsor knot with shiny cuff links and perfectly polished shoes beneath pants that break in the right spot for sitting and standing.  Then he comes home and switches into his basketball gear without losing a sexy beat and even dresses for casual outings without my assistance. (Wardrobe Essentials for MenBuilding a Man’s Jewelry Collection)
  10. I’m waiting for the guy that loves me patiently enough to let me love in my own way, aggressive enough to keep me from fleeing but tender enough to make me melt without saying a word.

It seems that I have already been blogging about the true love that is so hard to find because deep down, I am a hopeless romantic waiting to be swept off my feet.


11 thoughts on “Why I’m not married… yet

  1. Kudos on another thought-provoking and skillfully written post, LaKesha.

    The magic of true love is its capacity to obliterate the file cabinet of reasons we carry around to NOT commit. And we never see it coming.


  2. Melva says:

    I love it. You hit this one out of the park~.

    Married almost 18 years. Got the tattoo at 40!!

    Take your time. You’ll know when you’re ready and HE is the right guy. Much Love~


  3. Tracey Burnett says:

    Very interesting. This may shock you, but as a man I agree with everything you said up there. I value the roles of both males and females being respected in relationships. The only thing I disagree with a little is number 3. I don’t have a tattoo, and I don’t want one. What does that say about me? That probably explains why I don’t have a wife…or children for that matter. A woman who is aware of and wants all of those things is a perfect woman to me. If you find someone else like that, please send her my way.


  4. Warrick says:

    Excellent post! I expecially appreicate #5 and I guess it would depend on the level of the person, because as you stated some men will appreicate the time you are together and I guess it would be safe to say that you all would scehedule those times for each other so the other one want feel neglected. You sound like an (awesome women) and why aren’t you married? (smile)


  5. Coming from someone who doesn’t know you, you sound like you may not be a good candidate for marriage. Marriage takes compromise and commitment. And to be honest with you, love comes last. Not that your expectations may be too much, but marriage is an ever changing process. The person you meet in the beginning, may not be the same person 20 years down the road. Especially when the children come. What you want to focus on is does this person have my same CORE values. All that dating, business suit by day, basketball shorts by night, take care of me, etc… that stuff comes and goes. Does this man respect his family? Is he a man of his word? Is he motivated? Would he be there if I was dying of cancer or loss a limb?

    Marriage is hard work even when you were a ‘perfect’ match before the marriage. It’s all about the core values because there is a likelihood that if you’re married for many, many years …. you will, at times, fall in and out of love. And when you get married, you have to be ready to be in it for the long haul. Through the good, bad, and challenging times.

    I always tell my single friends, love has nothing to do with marriage. Put God first and follow his words and you’ll be all right.


    • Naivasha,
      You are so right about marriage requiring compromise and commitment and I really believe that those are two of the biggest reasons that I am not married… yet. I know the other stuff sounds superficial but in my eyes they all lead to the definition of his core values. But, I am putting God first and believe that he will send my special somebody. Thank you so much for giving me something to think about and I look forward to more interactions with you 🙂


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