This post is part serious and partly humorous because I find it very funny when I meet a guy and he tells me that he want to take care of me. I think there are some ground rules that should be established before a guy can say this to woman:
- You must immediately establish what you mean by take care of me. Some guys say this and they mean that they plan to emotionally support you even though they know the initial assumption is financial support. For a woman capable of taking care of herself financially, emotional support may be more valuable than you trying to buy her. Just be upfront about what you mean.
- You must be able to take care of yourself – emotionally and financially. If you are a mess, how can you take care of me? Don’t think much more needs to be said about that…
- Don’t throw it back in my face. If you feel like I should be indebted to you for “taking care of me” then you can keep it moving. Mainly because you approached me saying you wanted to do this. I know this because I am not the type of woman to ask for anything so anything that you do is because you wanted to so don’t act as if I owe you something. Nothing I do for you will be because I’m repaying a debt but because it is from my heart.
- Do an assessment. Before you take on any obligation, you should do a needs analysis and determine the ROI (return on investment) of the situation. Some guys have no idea what a woman needs before they throw the offer of “taking care” out on the table and then they get upset because she has these expectations that he can’t live up to. If you start talking about taking care of me within the first couple of dates, I know you are full of crap because you don’t even know what you are getting into. Also, as a guy, you should be sure that you are offering to take care of someone that will give you something back without you having to remind her (see #3) of all of the things that you are doing for her.
- Don’t start something you can’t keep up. My grandmother used to always tell me this about relationships. She would say, “Don’t start doing something that you know you can’t keep up.” If you do something to get her, you better believe you are going to have to keep doing it to keep her and women value consistency.
- Finally, make sure this isn’t all you are bringing to the table. If the beginning and end of your game is what you can do for someone then you are missing a very important part of the relationship, which is the partnership. I am a little old fashioned in hoping that I find a husband that wants to provide for me but I also hope that will be one aspect of our relationship and our ability to communicate and work as a team will be others. I know some guys that think because they are financially providing for a woman then she should be satisfied. One such guy found out that he was taking care of his fiancé and her boyfriend.