Who won the argument?

This is a trick question.

When you are in the midst of an argument, if your objective is to win then you have already lost.  The goal of a disagreement should never be to “beat” the other person rather you should argue to understand. 

Relationships are not confined to the interactions between lovers or family members but everyone that you come in contact with.  You will not always agree with everything that you hear and maybe not even with half of the things that you see.  However, you should not find yourself in a position trying to win over someone.  The best that you can do is seek to understand their position and help them to understand your position.  From there, you should be able to reach a compromise in your positions but at least have a better understanding why the other person feels the way that they do.

Arguments often get heated because one person feels like they are not being heard or that their position is not being respected.  This is often because the other party is trying to convince them to change their position.  The key to “winning” every argument is to change your definition of a win.  A win is when you leave the conversation with a better understanding of the person you are engaged with.


4 thoughts on “Who won the argument?

  1. puregoldlady says:

    I think:
    1) I should have read this before responding to comments on my blog this morning
    2) my last relationship would have had less strife if I was not so legalistic and obsessed with being right.
    3) I need to keep working on this.
    4) This is a great post.


What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s