Blog of the Week (March 5): For Colored Gurls – How do you feel about interracial relationships?

Blog Link:

Author: Jamie Fleming aka Mocha Writer

Twitter: @mochawriter

Mocha Writer, Author of For Colored Gurls Blog

I chose For Colored Gurls as the blog of the week because Jamie is an outstanding writer.  Not in the sense of her being able to properly construct sentences (which she also does well, very important for a writer) but she comes up with some fabulous topics and innovative spins on traditionally boring subjects. 

One of this week’s blogs was very interesting and generated quite a few comments – How do you feel about interracial relationships, particularly those with black men and non-black women? Do you care, not care, indifferent? 

Click on the link and let your opinion on this topic be heard.


3 thoughts on “Blog of the Week (March 5): For Colored Gurls – How do you feel about interracial relationships?

  1. Black men should date/marry whomever they choose to. Marriage has to be a choice not a requirement or a political statement. I have seen some Black men (and Black women) argue that many Black men are with non-Black women because they think they are “better” or “easier” to control. Let’s say that blanket statement is true for even one couple. I cannot “police” self-esteem. I can discuss it, blog it etc. but I cannot make a Black man love himself or Black women more nor do I think it is another adult’s responsibility to do so. Furthermore, can it even be done? Also, I am an adult and not interested in any man of any race who needs to control a woman instead of his own vision, destiny and life.

    In a grad school class, a White female professor talked about her White daughter who dated a Black man who thought her daughter was “better.” I mentioned that that is the wrong reason to date someone. Her response was “so what.” So if she and her daughter did not care, why was I going to “police?” That was in 2006 and not since then have I focused on whether or not someone chooses to date someone for the “wrong” reason. It’s one thing if I become a parent in the future and instill correct values in a child, however, I have no interest in “raising” other adults.

    For the Black men who are with someone that they actually care about who happens to be of another race so the previous statement would not apply, they should focus on their relationships and be happy.

    I constantly hear the phrase “Black love” and am perplexed by it. Though as a race we have faced a different history and challenges that make such a phrase’s need to exist pertinent, at the end of the day, people simply want love. I am a Black woman and I do not need “Black love” per se…if I decide to be in a relationship in the future (single now) I would want the five: like, love, trust, respect and honor from a male who gets who I am and accepts that I had dreams and passions long before his existence in my life. That male does not have to check any particular race on a form though some cultures are more attractive to me than others (physically and mannerisms) I do not think someone checking anything on a box makes them “better.” I am open to other races/cultures of men because I have traveled outside of the community (Black) I was raised in, was educated at racially diverse schools and have traveled domestically and internationally. I realize that we are all people/human and the differences in cultures and behaviors among a variety of races can make life interesting.

    Now, I do admit when I see healthy Black couples I smile, such as the Obamas. They make me feel happy. However, realistically, many couples of many races, not just Black, are not willing to put in the work to have what they have. Thus, I do not go around preaching “Black love” or any type of love based on colour, but love between two people who are Black or other races, when authentic, is a good thing.


  2. C. Floyd says:

    Ladies, if you are truly interested in WHY (educated, progressive, quality) black men date and marry non-black women – then please watch ‘Diary of a Tired Black Man’.

    Written, produced and directed by filmmaker Tim Alexander, this provocative work blends documentary footage with fictionalized vignettes to explore the complicated relationships between African-American men and women in the modern day. Following his less-than-amicable divorce, James (Jimmy Jean-Louis) reluctantly reenters the dating scene but finds little solace in the angry black women he meets.


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