Success Secret #16

I feel like this is something that I probably should have written about a long time ago but it really just dawned on me that there are some misconceptions about success and secrets.  Although the mainstream dictionaries and reference sources may have a traditional definition of these words, I would like to tell you what they mean to me.

While growing up success was always defined as getting a job (as a doctor, lawyer, teacher or engineer), getting married, buying a house and creating a family.  As I begin to mature, in age and wisdom, I now believe that success should not be left to society to define rather we should each seek to create our own definitions of success as they relate to our abilities to find happiness. 

Success to a recovering drug addict may simply be getting through each day without succumbing to their addiction.  The mere thought of striving for much more could be too much to bear.  However, making to the next day, drug-free, can be seen as a major accomplishment. 

For the family that is unable to bear children naturally, success could be starting a children’s ministry in their church.  The resources that would have spent on their own clan can contribute to our society’s need for a village to help raise our children.

In my life, success is sleeping well at night knowing that I spoke a word, performed a deed or shared a hug with someone that needed it.

Secrets, on the other hand, have always had something of a naughty connotation.  We have been conditioned that secrets should not shared and were thought to be bad people if we betrayed someone’s trust by revealing something told in confidence.  This one I agree with but I think there are some secrets that should be shared.  Not those things told to you in confidence but those life lessons that you learn when no one is watching.  We each go through a lot on a daily basis.  If we are wise, we learn from those mistakes.  In the past, our grandparents and parents have shared their perils of wisdom in hopes of preventing us from making similar mistakes.  Now it is our turn to begin sharing our secrets with our peers and mentees.  I think we have become so afraid of interfering or getting into someone’s business that we have begun to leave them to their own demise when a word or small piece of unsolicited advice has the ability to make an impact in their life. 

When I was younger, I would get so sick of my grandmothers having something to say about everything.  I just wished that they would leave me alone.  However, as I got older, those words would come rushing back to me in certain situations and I would think of how fortunate I was to have people in my life that kept talking even when I didn’t want to listen.  Having never received any advice from them, I shutter to think where I would be today.  There will be some people that won’t want to hear what you have to say today but tomorrow your words could save their life.

Success secret #16… the secrets to your successes should be shared so that you can be an example in the lives of others.


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